Friday, August 8, 2014

Empty Lanes, Empty Streets- The Sun Goes Down Alone

Hello! This will be my last post for a few weeks, as I will be in Canada until the end of time (or summer, I guess).

So basically I am lousy excuse for a blogger, writing a lousy excuse for my blog. Woot woot.

I took a long walk around my town this morning and realized how out of touch I've been with my surroundings of late. I've been listening to strange music and reading weird books, trying to forget that I live in such a normal place.

But then I remembered that this hot, lazy town has something to offer as it is- peace. It is so relaxing to just stroll aimlessly through the winding alleyways and dirt roads in Butte.

So I made this playlist of songs that remind me of a Montana summer (don't worry, I did not put any country on it. Eww.)

Enjoy, and I'll see all you pretty things in a few weeks!

Thursday, August 7, 2014

A River Don't Stop To Breathe

I'm sure everyone on this Earth has thought the same thing- how wildly fast time is flying lately. It seems like with every passing day time gets going a little faster and faster and before long we are left sprinting, trying desperately to catch up with it. We are all trying to capture our time and press it like flowers in a book. We seal up our days in journals and photos and drawings so that we can remind ourselves that we were there. That we were living, and we created something with our time that runs like water through our desperately clutching fingers. 

Like all people chewing on the idea that we're going to die someday and all that fun stuff, I've spent many a late night gazing out my window and trying to grasp the fact that I'm growing up so much faster than I ever wanted. That things are going to change whether I want them to or not. That everyone I know is going to die someday. But this is nothing new- we all know these thoughts.  We push them away as soon as they get too consuming, but everyone is familiar with the depressing impact of our own mortality. Some of us fear it, some of us ignore it, and some of us get all cozy and friendly with the thought. 

I'm in the latter group. I've been rolling the thought of my own death around in my brain since I was old enough to read a clock. And after a while it gets pretty comfortable. There's a little niche in my mind where all these thoughts fit in, and they've finally begun to lose their sting (mostly).
This way, I can analyze deeper into the way time flows without being crushed by the looming shadow of fear (again, mostly).

And after hearing for the bajillionth time how "quickly summer is going!" and the likes, I've decided to share some of my thoughts on the matter. I might make you uncomfortable, but I think it's important to think about what we don't necessarily want to.

First, I want to address the fact that time flies faster and faster with each passing day. 
We've all noticed this. I've developed many theories on the matter, which I'm sure were thought many times before me, but I've yet to come across them from anyone else. One of them goes like this:

To a baby who has been alive for one day, one day is 100% of their life.

To the same baby a day later, one day has become 50% of their life.

At three days old, this baby lives 33.33% of its life in one day.

And it goes on like this exponentially decreasing into infinity, until we have lived for thousands of days and the same 24 hours becomes a tiny decimal in the scheme of our existence. This is why each day seems shorter and shorter. They are the same length, but we perceive them differently. This thought can be especially troubling if you dwell on it too long, because you realize that time is never going to slow down. It's only going to pick up pace for the rest of you life. Yikes.

One of my favorite books of all time, "Slaughterhouse-Five" by Kurt Vonnegut, talks a lot about time in general. Vonnegut looks at time from an unaffected perspective, making you realize how silly clocks and calendars really are. I'll try hard not to spoil anything, but I want to share my favorite quote from the book:
"The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore* was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just that way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in a bad condition in that particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments. Now, when I myself hear that somebody is dead, I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is "so it goes.” "
*"Tralfamadore" is a planet where the main character, Billy Pilgrim, lived after getting abducted by Tralfamadorians in the middle of the night. 

I'll leave ya'll to chew on this for a while.
Also, to read that book! It will very probably change your life.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Bedroom Tour Yayyyy

Like every angsty teen out there, my bedroom has become my sanctuary. Let me tell you, it has seen many different makeovers (Like, at one point I had twilight posters on my ceiling and walls. Yikes).
Today I gave it a new makeover, for the first time in a while. So here it is- my little home of 4 years, in all its glory. 

(Accompanied by this fantastic song, which has been my soundtrack for the past few days)

So this is the first view of my bedroom. The shelves are really nice for organizing, although they take up so much room. 

 I have this start of a new wall collage going, but it's not very big yet...

.....But that doesn't matter because it features this amazing portrait of a cat x-ray done by the one and only Andy. 

I have a collection of photos of all my biggest idols next to my desk:

Crappy lighting, but here you can (kind of) see my other wall collage above my bed:

I've mentioned it here before, but I obsessively collect thing on my window sills. Here are a few pictures of this:

 Boring old bedside table. I'm going to deck it out somehow, but I'm not sure quite yet what I'll do.

A full view of my room from this side....

....and *shazam* this side!
Here you will see my record player, violin stand, band posters, and my weird collection of things that I like to look at:

 It looks like I didn't take any other photos (it's too dark to take more now) so I guess this will do!
So now you know what my bedroom looks like. (The more you knowww!)

Thursday, July 31, 2014

And I Hated Mellow Pink Dewdrops

Today, while thumbing through some of my mom's old poetry books, I stumbled upon this poem:

"Do You Remember" by Emmett Williams 

when i loved soft pink nights

and you hated hard blue valleys
and i kissed mellow red potatoes
and you loved livid green seagulls
and i hated soft yellow dewdrops
and you kissed hard pink oysters
and i loved mellow blue nights
and you hated livid red valleys
and i kissed soft green potatoes
and you loved hard yellow seagulls
and i hated mellow pink dewdrops
and you kissed livid blue oysters
and i loved soft red nights
and you hated hard green valleys
and i kissed mellow yellow potatoes
and you loved livid pink seagulls
and i hated sort blue dewdrops
and you kissed hard red oysters
and i loved mellow green nights
and you hated livid yellow valleys
and i kissed soft pink potatoes
and you loved hard blue seagulls
and i hated mellow red dewdrops
and you kissed livid green oysters
and i loved soft yellow nights
and you hated hard pink valleys
and i kissed mellow blue potatoes
and you loved livid red sea ulls
and i hated soft green dewdrops
and you kissed hard yellow oysters
and i loved mellow pink nights
and you hated livid blue valleys
and i kissed soft red potatoes
and you loved hard green seagulls
and i hated mellow yellow dewdrops
and you kissed livid pink oysters
and i loved soft blue nights
and you hated hard red valleys
and i kissed mellow green potatoes
and you loved livid yellow seagulls
and i hated soft pink dewdrops
and you kissed hard blue oysters
and i loved mellow red nights
and you hated livid green valleys
and i kissed sort yellow potatoes
and you loved hard pink seagulls
and i hated mellow blue dewdrops
and you kissed livid red oysters
and i loved soft green nights
and you hated hard yellow valleys
and i kissed mellow pink potatoes
and you loved livid blue seagulls
and i hated soft red dewdrops
and you kissed hard green oysters
and i loved mellow yellow nights
and you hated livid pink valleys
and i kissed soft blue potatoes
and you loved hard red seagulls
and i hated mellow green dewdrops
and you kissed livid yellow oysters
and i loved soft pink nights?

It's totally weird. But something about it drew me in, and I read more of his stuff.
Turns out there's a whole group of people devoted to writing stuff like this- it's called concrete poetry. It's fascinating.

After looking at it for a long time, I figured out that this poem consists of 5 series of alternating words:


Altogether, it creates this long poem of lines that are all slightly different from each other. I don't know why, but I quite like it.

This particular poem reminds me of this song by múm:

That's all for now! Happy last day of July(:

Monday, July 28, 2014

Take a Dip in My Daydream

Running around the house, collecting pretty things to surround ourselves with.
Making tea in tiny teapots. 
Putting glitter in with the blueberries.


Cold feet. 
We stayed outside until the sky turned dark.

(Thanks for letting me take pictures of you, Samantha. You're the best)

Sunday, July 27, 2014

What I've Learned From Jane Eyre

As I've mentioned before on this blog, Jane Eyre is one of my very favorite books. 

A lot of people who've never read it think that it's a very dry, boring classic that pretentious people read. I thought this too. 

But when I picked it up last year and read the first chapter, I was amazed by what I read. I mean, there's child abuse and paranormal happenings in the first 10 pages

It wasn't what I expected at all. I kept reading, and I soon couldn't put it down. Jane's strong will drew me in like a magnet, and I admired everything she said and did. 

Here are some of the most important things I learned from Jane Eyre.

[Disclaimer: if you, like me, absolutely despise spoilers I wouldn't recommend reading this unless you've read the book.]

First and foremost, she taught me that I can be independent. That I could love myself.
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.” 

The way she treated those who wronged her and bore no prejudices showed me to be forgiving.

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” 

When she fell in love with Rochester, I leaned that appearance and age and wealth are no borders for love
“I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously revived, great and strong! He made me love him without looking at me.” 

That she told Rochester how she felt, and didn't wait around for him to do it, taught me that I can express my feelings just as much as anyone else
“Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! - I have as much soul as you, - and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you!”

 She showed me that  I am equal to a man, in all ways.
"Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, to absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex." 

The way Jane fled from her love taught me to do what's right always, rather than what is easiest
“I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.” 

And the way she returned to him showed me that I have the right to be happy. That love exists. 
“All my heart is yours, sir: it belongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest of me from your presence forever.” 
“Reader, I married him.” 


I truly believe that this book has made me a better person. All I hope is that one day I can be half as strong as Jane Eyre.

Friday, July 25, 2014

From the Land of the Ice and Snow

Hello there!
I've been neglecting this blog for a while, and I refuse to feel guilty about it because I was having too much fun. My aunts came to visit, and we took them on a big tour around the state. We went to the most beautiful mountains and rivers and lakes that we knew of, all in succession.
They just left this morning, and I'm going to need a day off to recover from it all.

So here I am in front of my laptop at a stupid-early hour of the morning and I'm going to share some of my favorite things in the world- Icelandic bands. 

I am in love with Iceland. Their culture is so peaceful and creative, and their music scene is phenomenal. For a country of only 300,000 people, Iceland is loaded with artists.

So, without further ado, here are my favorite musicians from Iceland, in no particular order:


My love for Björk is no secret, and I share this love with thousands of others.
Björk is the most successful musician to come out of Iceland, and was named in Rolling Stone's top 100 female musicians of all time.

She's a pretty big deal.

But the best part of it all is that her music is so wierd. It's not the type of music that you would see on a top 40 chart, but it's widely loved and listened to.

It gives me hope in humanity that Björk is so popular. 

If, by any chance, you haven't heard any of her music, this is one of my favorites:

Sigur Rós

Sugur Rós is another popular band from Iceland.
They are the best post-rock band ever, in my opinion, and their ethereal sounds are like none other. 

Jónsi (my hero, you know) is the front man, singing in is angelic falsetto while playing away at the beautifully haunting bow-guitar. 
The sound they create is simple, filling your ears and dancing you through every emotion that you have, song by song. 

Sadly, Sigur Rós is frequently discarded as background music (like their most popular song, Hoppipolla, made popular by being featured in "We Bought a Zoo"). I don't understand this, because how could you not pay attention to this?


Amiina started as an orchestral quartet in the 90s, and has evolved dramatically since then. Now, their music implements every instrument you can think of, including my favorite, the theremin
Their music is pretty similar to that of Sigur Rós, but it takes the whole "ethereal ghost-sounds" in a different, happier direction (not to say that Sigur Rós isn't happy, this is just more so).

Most of their songs are instrumental, with throbbing synthetic beats and gentle violin weaving in and out of their wide spectrum of ghostly sounds. And when they do sing, it fits perfectly with their sound- the singers are gentle, featuring perfect harmonies and wonderfully visual lyrics. Listening to their music is a great stress reliever and mind-clearer.


Múm is awesome, all around. They are a big band, consisting of about 8 people (more or less). 
They've been together since the year I was born, and the band members are always changing. Their music never stops morphing to new, unheard of territories.  

Over the years, they have created so many albums to explore and so many awesome works of art to appreciate. 

It's very hard to classify múm in a specific genre, but I would say that they are like an experimental electronic-folk. 

Needless to say, their music is weird. But I love it so much. 

Ólafur Arnalds

This man is beautiful. His music is like a glimpse into his mind, and it is remarkable.

Ólafur Arnalds is a contemporary composer and producer, who primarily writes scores for movies.

But, like Sigúr Ros, it is very hard to overlook his music when you hear it in the background of a movie.
He has won Oscars for his work, and has produced a plethora of albums.

My favorite album is Living Room Songs, which showcases his extraordinary musical talent in a very unique way. He composed, recorded, and published a new song every day for a week, all done in his living room. 

What resulted was a masterpiece. The songs are breathtaking, and you can hear his piano pedals creaking in the background. I love it.

Pascal Pinon

First, I must mention that these two sisters (twins, actually) are only 18 years old. And they already have two self-produced albums released.

They are simply incredible. Their lyrics show wisdom beyond their years, and their obvious musical talent is hard to imagine coming out of 18 year olds. 

Their music makes me happy. Their newest album, "Twosomeness" is the perfect soundtrack to my life since I stumbled upon it a few months ago. It's got everything you can ask for in an album- great lyrics, perfect sound, incredible imagery, and a slide-whistle solo. What more can you ask for?


HOLY HELL, Samaris.
I've been saving the best for last, let me tell you.
.... Okay, I can't say best because, I mean, look at everyone else who is on this list.
But man, are these guys phenomenal.

The main singer is half of Pascal Pinon. That's right- she's 18 and in not one, but two fantastic bands. 

I need to meet her and be her best friend right, exactly, right now.

But I digress. Samaris is a trio featuring clarinet, synth beats, and old Norse poetry. I dare you to get any cooler that that. 
(I posted about them here if you want to hear more ranting about their awesomeness).

I just can't words. Listen:

So there you have it! And now you have plenty of new music to keep you content for a long time.
I highly encourage you to delve into the never-ending realm of Icelandic music. You will not be disappointed, I promise.